A very healthy and vibrant middle-aged women suffered an unexpected severe stroke while driving alone on a country road. She stopped the car and stumbled out onto the road. A passerby came to her aid and called 911. She was airlifted to a hospital and placed on life support. The family was notified and they all arrived at the hospital to be by her side. It was at this time the family realized this woman had no living will or advanced directive for health care.
The family was now responsible to make decisions on how this women was to be treated and they really had no idea what her preferences would have been under these circumstances. This created a huge burden for the family and they could not all agree on what she would have wanted.
The uncertainty and burden of making these decisions on behalf of this woman could have been avoided all together if she had completed a very simple document called Five Wishes.
Five Wishes is an easy-to-use legal document written in plain and simple language that lets you plan how you want to be cared for in the event you become seriously ill and cannot speak for yourself. It is the most popular living will in America!
You may already have an advanced directive for healthcare. If you want to use Five Wishes because it is more specific, all you need to do is fill out the Five Wishes form. Once it is signed, it will supersede your advanced directive. Be sure to destroy or write “revoked” across your old advanced directive and inform your family and health professionals about your new wishes.
Here is an outline of the Five Wishes:
Wish 1: The Person I Want to Make Care Decisions for Me When I Can’t
When you are no longer able to make health care decisions, who will make them for you? Choosing a health care agent is an important decision. Choose someone who knows you very well, cares about you and can make difficult decisions. This person should be someone who will stand up for you and follow your wishes
Wish 2: The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want
A checklist of options for medical treatment under specific circumstances like being in a coma, severe brain damage, or close to death.
Wish 3: How Comfortable I Want to Be
A list of comfort care choices. What types of pain management, personal grooming, and hospice care you desire.
Wish 4: How I Want People to Treat Me
A list of choices regarding personal matters. Do you want to be at home? Would you like for someone to pray at your bedside and other personal preferences.
Wish 5: What I Want My Loved Ones to Know
How do you wish to be remembered? What are your final wishes and what are your desires regarding a funeral or memorial service?
Taking the time NOW to complete the Five Wishes form is one of the greatest gifts that you can give your family. Dying is inevitable, but leaving your family with difficult and heartbreaking decisions is not. Planning ahead will save them from a heavy burden and will give them peace of mind when they need it most.
Additional information and the Five Wishes form can be obtained from www.agingwithdignity.org.
I like the Five Wishes, but my concern would be how does it become a legal document if it isn’t notarized? Fortunately, I have a great relationship with my family, but not all families are so lucky. What prevents someone from replacing the Living Will with the Five Wishes?
I love that you help us think these things through and call us to action, Mary! Thank you so much!
Great question Julie! When you sign the Five Wishes document you will need to have two witnesses sign and attest that they know you and you were of sound mind and not under any duress to sign. The state of California does not require notarization. Much easier and less expensive than having an attorney draw up a medical directive.