You have met with your attorney and established an estate plan. The living trust documents have been created, signed, and your trustee has been named.  You have even re-titled your assets and funded your living trust.  Congratulations, your estate planning is complete!   Or is it?

Have you discussed your estate plan with your adult children? Many people are hesitant about sharing their plans with family members.  Some may feel awkward about disclosing their plans and think this information should only be revealed after death.

I firmly believe that scheduling a family meeting to share the content of your estate plan is a wise idea. The purpose of the family meeting is to explain to your adult children, and any other family members or friends that may be involved, the thought process and the role you are asking each one to take.  It is also an opportunity to explain the thinking behind your intended distribution of assets.  It is the perfect time to review your end-of-life wishes and answer any questions about the choices that have been made.

Here are a few things you may want to consider for your family meeting:

1. Choose a convenient date. Find a time that works for everyone and plan to steer clear of holidays. Schedule a beginning and ending time.  A 2-3 hour time frame should be sufficient.
2. Select an appropriate location. Look for a meeting place that will be quiet, comfortable, and with minimum distractions. Since this should be an adults-only meeting, make arrangements for young children to be taken care of at another location.
3. Set the agenda. Create a list of topics you will want to cover. Remember that this is a family meeting and not a corporate business meeting. It is important that your family be heard and supported.  Encourage questions and realize that anxiety and emotions may surface.  Keep in mind that for some family members, this meeting will be uncomfortable.
4. Identify each of the documents. Take time to explain all of the legal documents in your estate plan (Trust, Will, Power of Attorney, Health Care Directive, etc.)
5. Include your attorney and financial advisor. This is your team and the family meeting is a perfect time to introduce everyone. They can help explain your plan and field the tough, legal questions.
6.  Inform your family where the estate documents are kept. Hopefully you have created your own Family Legacy Drawer and the location of the documents should be listed there.
7. Bring Kleenex!

In the end, this type of meeting can help your family be better informed and it will help avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings after you are gone. Nobody wants to leave their family in a state of  conflict and turmoil because of a failure to communicate.